People are dynamic. We change whether we know it or not. Even if we were to stay in the same place for the rest of our lives we are still bound to mature or devolve. I am in this special circumstance where my growth is occurring in a different country, where my environment has catalyst my growth. Everything from my look, taste in Art, mannerisms and perspective have changed, and I can say that with confidence and pride. I feel brand new. Of course my past still contributes to my character, that will never change, but the way I perceive my past, and it’s influence is entirely different. I no longer feel the need to prove myself to people.
Whilst I’ve been here I’ve learned to be myself; the person I am when no one is looking. I can talk with people randomly, build relationships through commonalities and differences. I am no longer so self-involved that all I think about is what the other person thinks of me. I am just me. It’s refreshing. I think that has be the overarching lesson during the first half of this experience. How to break out of the social mold that I have confined myself in for the past 7 years. It’s something I will never let myself lose. I realize that if I have something to say to someone I should say it, and if they don’t receive it then I move on. I don’t need everyone’s approval, but I do need to put forth the effort.
This next term my goal is to take the lessons I’ve learned thus far and apply them. Not only be able to be myself with people, but figure out who I am independently and invest in my assets. I want to indulge in the things that make my character. I will lose myself in the Arts. Literature, music, film, food, and travel. I want to define myself as a character. Who I am is more than the things I have to say to people, it also includes the things I do for myself. I will experience more and spend more time learning. If all goes as planned, I will return home in 6 months time and be the person I used to idolize. The person who knows herself well enough to act passionately, converse confidently , and sit contently. I am not afraid to change, I am ready to take on the next stage of this process of growth.